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When I was a teenager, it helped me imagine what my life could be like. Jess, 28, they/them: There was so little in the way of queer stories in other media, so I used to create them on The Sims. I spoke to several people about their experience playing The Sims and how it helped them to better understand themselves and their identities. Digital spaces like The Sims are much lower risk than physical spaces when it comes to exploring sexuality. A 2006 studyon The Sims concluded that people who play the game project parts of their personality or life onto their Sim characters. It’s unsurprising that for many in the LGBTQIA+ community, The Sims provided an outlet for exploring identity and sexuality, as the game is a safe space in which you can act out personal fantasies. Chatting to my therapist about why I never made a lesbian couple from the outset, I concluded that this reflected my previously held ideas that same-sex relationships were taboo and shameful. When the women got together, I often got bored with the men and moved them out into a separate household so I could focus on the women.
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Instead, I often made two ‘straight’ couples in one household and embarked on secret lesbian affairs during gameplay. In the Create-a-Sim stage of the game, I never made lesbian couples. By the time I was a teen, I had graduated to The Sims 2, which is where I first started experimenting with same-sex couples. I started out playing SimCity with my dad as a kid, developing thriving towns and managing natural disasters. The Sims was my escape from reality, a place where I could forget about my anxieties and immerse myself in a fantasy world. But behind closed doors, my teenage self was playing out my queerness on The Sims, long before I would admit it to myself. I had been in a long-term relationship with a man and had exclusively dated boys at school.
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